


Bastardization Arc - (After all we've all seen redemption arcs)

by Hazellum



Series: Zimulation Shenanigans [2]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: :), :)), Dib and Zim are very similar when you think about it, Dib captures Zim, Dib is Of Legal Age (Invader Zim), Irken Dib eventually, Reverse-redemption arc, SEN are assholes, Villainification Arc, big time, messed up, they
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26330071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazellum/pseuds/Hazellum
Summary: When Dib finally managed to capture Zim, in one of Zim's own simulations at that, he expected to be lauded as one of the SEN's best investigators. Instead, he's kicked out for being to boring. On top of that, now able to watch Zim in the simulation, Dib realizes the poor bug is very lonely.Dropping into the simulation - just to make sure everything is running correctly! - couldn't hurt, right?
Relationships: Dib & Computer, Dib & GIR (Invader Zim), Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), GIR & Zim (Invader Zim)
Series: Zimulation Shenanigans [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1911784
Comments: 10
Kudos: 47





	Bastardization Arc - (After all we've all seen redemption arcs)

Picking up right after the previous fic

* * *

Laying in bed staring at the ceiling that night, Dib grinned. He’d finally done it! Zim was at his mercy, trapped in a simulation! On top of that, with Zim stuck in that stupid simulation, Dib could study his behavior. And with Zim unable to stop him, Dib could study every nook and cranny of the alien’s base.

Plus, there was only a week of school left, so pretty soon Dib wouldn’t even have to leave his studies to go to class. Imagine the things he could do with all that alien tech. Space travel out beyond the known galaxy, there at Dib’s fingertips! By the end of the summer, Dib would have the respect he deserved! No more would he be tossed to the side, the failed duplicate of his father. 

By the end of the summer, everyone would know his name. 

Listening carefully, Dib waited until he heard his dad go downstairs to his personal lab before jumping out of bed and running over to his computer. Fingers flying across the keyboard, Dib sent a message to the server moderator.

** Agent Mothman: I’ve finally done it! I’ve captured an alien! Initiate Protocol 134!!! **

** Eyeball 05: Are you sure? If Protocol 134 is initiated and found to have been falsely so, you’ll have to turn in your badge. **

** Agent Mothman: I know! But I’ve really got him! **

** Eyeball 05: We’ll send a taskforce to your coordinates at 1700 tomorrow, make sure to be in the correct location. **

** Agent Mothman: All right! Agent Mothman, Signing Off! **

Smiling even wider, Dib quickly turned off his computer and ran back to his bed. He’d need plenty of sleep for tomorrow. It would launch his career as a paranormal investigator in full. No more traipsing through swamps only to be laughed at, no more being muted on the SEN servers.

Placing his glasses on his bedside table, Dib pulled his blankets up to his chin. Curling up under a pile of comforters and quilts, Dib for once slept soundly. Quietly dreaming through the night, dreams of fame and infamy both conjured in the night. Dancing through it all was him, Dib, the now most prized member of the SEN. At all the most important meetings, there he was. 

It was perfect!

In class the next day, Dib gently kicked his feet back and forth in his feet, doodling over and over in his notebook sketches of Zim being vivisected. Using his best magenta gel pen, he colored in one of the better sketches.

“Class, I’m taking attendance. Dib’s here but Zim’s gone, okay attendance is done,” Mrs. Bitters said at the front of the room, looming ominously over her desk. One student at the back of the class raised their hand. “What do you want, you doomed child?” Mrs. Bitters asked, slinking over to the child’s desk.

“Where is Zim?” they asked, lisping slightly.

“Oh don’t worry! He won't be a problem any longer!” Dib interrupted before Mrs. Bitters could speak. In an instant, she was ominously standing by Dib’s desk.

“I would send you to the underground classroom, but what’s going to happen to you this summer will be much worse,” she hissed angrily, before making her way back to the front of the room.

“What? No, this summer is going to be awesome!” Dib said, grinning.

Chuckling, Mrs. Bitters looked at Dib. “Oh, this will be a spot of fun in the miserable existence that is life on this planet,” she said, before turning to the chalkboard and starting her lesson for the day.

“Today we will be studying the mathematical theorem behind whittling away someone’s humanity. Seeing as at least one of you will be experiencing it directly over the next few months, I thought it would be an adequate lesson,” she said, quickly scratching out a complicated-looking equation on the chalkboard. 

“Now, first you need to represent Ethics with X, Everything you love with Y, the crushing misery of being rejected by Y as Y over 34B, B representing a new purpose and family,” Mrs. Bitters droned before Dib completely tuned her out. After all, that affected him in no way whatsoever!

As Mrs. Bitters droned on at the front of the class, Dib wondered how well-equipped the taskforce would be. It wouldn’t matter all that much, Dib had already disabled a majority of the defenses. Seeing all those weapons would still be cool, though! Plus, the more firepower they wielded, the more he’d be in control of. After all, he was the one that had called in for Protocol 134, so he’d have to be the one in charge of the task force.

At the end of the day, as soon as the bell rang, Dib leaped from his seat, running to the classroom door. Just as he was about to run out and into the hallway, Mrs. Bitters stopped him in his tracks. She didn’t say anything, but the look she gave him sent chills up his spine. It was like she was sizing him up for a meal. After a moment, though, she just dropped his backpack in front of him and stepped to the side.

“I don’t get paid enough to have your garbage in my classroom any longer than the school day,” she said as Dib sprinted down the hallway. He didn’t hear her, though. Within seconds he was out the main entrance, the first one running down the sidewalk towards the bus.

Dropping onto the first seat from the door, Dib held his backpack in his lap, bouncing one leg up and down in excitement. As the bus pulled out of the parking lot, his index fingers began tapping a 6-8 rhythm against his backpack, and a grin stretched across his face. Quickly checking his watch, he saw he only had 45 minutes. 45 minutes and his life would change forever!

Not even waiting for the bus to stop when it got to his house, Dib shouldered the door open and leaped out, nearly falling flat on his face. The palms of his hands scraped and covered in bits of debris, Dib regained his footing and ran up the driveway.

“HIDADI’MWORKINGONAPROJECTGOTTAGOBYE!” he shouted, running past Professor Membrane and up the stairs to his room. There wasn’t any time to wait! 

Once in his room, Dib dropped his backpack on the floor. A moment later, he was at his desk, rifling through the drawers for everything he might need. His water pistol, bee launcher, and a lollipop to distract GIR with all went into his briefcase, which he hastily buckled closed. Moving over to his closet, Dib looked at his trench coats. He wanted to look his best, after all!

He quickly tossed a red one to the side, it looked too much like Zim’s outfit. An ashen grey one quickly followed, it had a ripped hem. Quite a few of his usual navy blue trench coats were also tossed aside, each either having a stain or rip or tear somewhere. Eventually, Dib’s eyes alighted on a honey-and-flax colored trench coat he hadn’t had the opportunity to wear yet. Crisp and clean, it was perfect!

Shrugging it on, Dib grabbed his briefcase and ran back downstairs, past his Dad and Gaz, and out the door. Coat flapping out behind him in the wind, his hair doing much the same, he ran as fast as he could, fast even then he did while chasing Zim.

It just wouldn’t do to be late, after all!

As he skidded to a stop in front of Zim’s house, Dib once again checked his watch. Five minutes to go. Pacing back and forth on the sidewalk, Dib’s grin stretching ever farther across his face, he watched his watch with manic glee. 

As the final seconds ticked away, he saw a group of figures turn the corner onto Zim’s street. At first, Dib took no notice of them, but then he noticed that each of them held an SEN briefcase, much like his own. As the second hand hit 4:00 PM precisely, they came to a stop in front of Dib.

“Hey are you the kid who called in a Protocol 134?” one of them asked, pointing at Dib.

“Yup! I’ve got a genuine alien!” Dib said, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.

“But you’re like, what, eight?” the SEN agent said, rolling his eyes.

“No, I’m 15!” Dib retorted, glaring at the agent. The agent, meanwhile, was checking his phone. “And what weapons do you guys have? It could be dangerous in there!”

“I’ve got my weapons of mass destruction right here!” a pimply-faced agent near the back of the crowd said, flexing his pathetically bony biceps. Laughing, he accepted a round of high-fives.

“If you get vaporized don’t bla- Hey, where are you guys going?” Dib exclaimed, the agents walking up to Zim’s door. For a moment, Dib wished he hadn’t deactivated the laser-gnomes, just so the agents would have to take him seriously.

When pimple-face kicked in Zim’s door, Dib gasped. That could damage valuable research material! Dib was absolutely horrified when the whole group walked in, wiping their muddy boots on the furniture. Since Dib had muted Computer, they weren’t even scolded for it!

“Come on guys, you shouldn’t be treating this place like that! Who knows what could be valuable research material!” Dib shouted, running in behind them. To his disgust, half of them had sat on the couch and were watching Gir’s TV, just sitting around the small robot. The other half at least were looking around the house portion of Zim’s base.

“Look kid, this is just a formality. Show us what you’ve got, alright?” pimple-face said, rolling his eyes when Dib grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the fake trash can.

“This is the entrance to Zim’s actual base!” Dib said, pointing at it. Bouncing up and down, he watched as pimple-face clambered in and shot down the chute before following close behind. When he got to the bottom, he found pimple-face already wandering around, rolling his eyes at everything. 

“This is all so uncool! Where’s the lasers and earth-destroying machines?” he groaned, crossing his arms.

“I- I put them away so that they wouldn’t accidentally go off,” Dib said, uncertain.

“Alright, where’s the alien?” the agent said, raising one eyebrow.

“This way, come on! I actually managed to tra-” Dib excitedly started explaining and walking towards the simulation observation room, only to be stopped by the agent grabbing him by the shoulder.

“Look, kid, this stuff is all boring, and its all just tech. You’re the kid of Professor McFreaking Membrane, you could have just stolen this crap from his labs. Just hand over your badge now so I don't have to file as much paperwork,” he said, holding out the other hand expectantly.

“Wh-What?! We’re literally standing in an alien base! How does this not fulfill Protocol 134?” Dib exclaimed, holding his briefcase protectively to his chest.

“Because A) it's boring and B) Who’s to say any of this actually comes from an alien? Just hand over your badge before I head upstairs and declare you a rogue agent,” pimple-face grimaced, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

His eyes glistening with tears, Dib set his briefcase on the ground and kneeled beside it. Unlatching the clasp, he said, “You’re making a mistake.”

“That’s what they all say, kiddo. Badge. Now.” pimple-face said, laughing cruelly. As Dib choked back a sob, he reached into his briefcase and shakily withdrew his SEN Investigator badge. Gripping it tightly, Dib looked at it one last time before handing it over. With a smirk, the pimple-faced Agent strolled over to the chute and went back to the house portion of the base. Overhead, Dib heard him shout for everyone to leave, and then the pounding of several pairs of feet walking out the front door.

“Y-You’re making a mistake!” Dib sobbed, finally letting himself cry for real now that there was nobody around to hear. His sobs wracked his body, filling the air. After a moment, a cable hesitantly lowered from the ceiling, gently patting Dib on his shoulder, almost to say “there there, it’ll be fine.”

Standing up, tears streaming down his face, Dib stumbled over to the primary control panel. Even with it being declared a hoax, the SEN would probably quarantine the base for months, just to “make sure”. Now that he wasn’t- Now that Dib wasn’t a member anymore, he wouldn’t have access to it if that happened. Flicking a switch, Dib unmuted Computer. This done, he began quickly typing in several commands, his fingers flying across the keyboard.

“If they want my research, they can damn well try to take it from me!” he screamed, grief tinging his angry words. “Computer! You can either do as I say, treat me as your new master, or I’ll mute you again and just do it all manually!”

“I- You know what? Those assholes would probably dissect Zim anyway, even if they did think he was human. So sure, I’ll help you,” Computer replied, verbally shrugging. His tone of voice didn’t betray the fact that he was absolutely hoping that one of the SEN agents tried to break back into the base so he could vaporize them. Over the years, Computer had decided that since Dib was important to Zim, being his nemesis and all, Dib was important to Computer.

Stomping over to the chute to leave, Dib grimaced. “I want all defenses set to maximum. No one enters or leaves that does not have access.”

“Sure, whatever,” Computer replied. In the living room, before walking out the door, Dib paused.

“You know what? If any SEN agents get within 500 meters of the base, vaporize them That’ll show them to kick me out!”

* * *

* * *

It was only hours later, at dinner, that Dib realized he’d left his briefcase at Zim’s base. Shrugging, he ate another bite of casserole. Who needs a briefcase with a squirt gun in it when you’ve got an entire arsenal of alien weaponry for cryptid hunting?

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter of many! it may be a bit before I post chapter 2, I wanted to get this one out but still want to get a backlog. Next chapter should be out within 2 weeks, though!


End file.
